McGraw-Hill OnlineMcGraw-Hill Higher EducationLearning Center
student Center | Instructor Center | Home
Before You Read 1
Read
After You Read 1
After You Read 2
Feedback
Help Center


Mosaic 2 Reading, 4/e
Brenda Wegmann
Miki Knezevic
Marilyn Bernstein

Conflict and Reconciliation

Identifying the Author's Opinion

Quickly skim the reading below. The author has a __ opinion of the book.

Can We Talk?



A Jenny and her roommate have been living together for almost eight months now, and she's about to go out of her mind. Her roommate's destructive attitude really affects her negatively, but she doesn't know how to approach her about it.

B Kyle and Nancy have been married for six years. Nancy is frustrated because she feels that she manages all of the family accounts, and Kyle just spends, spends, spends. She wants to say something, but she doesn't know how to do it without offending him.

C Bob and Jack are old friends. Bob recently hired Jack at his company, and it has been a difficult struggle. Jack's work is under par, and Bob doesn't really know how to approach him without getting into a personal confrontation.

D Whether we're living daily with a negative roommate, dealing with an underperforming employee, or confronting a spouse about money, we find ourselves in the positions of having to have difficult conversations every day. And one thing that is consistent across the board is that we don't want to have them. Confrontation is difficult, whether it's with someone you love or someone you hardly know. Some people would rather avoid it in favor of an uncomfortable silence and seething anger. Others prefer to have a screaming fit instead of an actual conversation. How can we avoid our natural tendencies and actually have a constructive dialogue? There's one book that tries to give the answer.

EDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most is about just that: all the conversations we hate to have, why we avoid them, and most importantly, why, when we finally confront our fears and dive into the dreaded heart-to-heart, we usually do so in a not so effective way. An erudite self-help book, its authors, Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, are associated with the Harvard Negotiation Project, (responsible for the bestseller Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In). Difficult Conversations tackles the personal side of negotiating—negotiating your own feelings as they relate to the situation at hand and the resulting dialogue. By laying out the structure of these conversations, the authors teach you how to get to the heart of the matter with clarity and compassion, and with as little pain as possible.

F The book proposes an analytic framework to approach difficult topics. It points out that each difficult conversation actually has three components or conversations going on at the same time: The "What Happened" Conversation, The Feelings Conversations, and The Identity Conversation. Each person's conception of these "three conversations" will affect the course of the conversation. Finally, the book maps out how to turn all difficult conversations into Learning Conversations. The book offers specific techniques on how to untangle the web of perception, fact, and emotion, as well as personal stories and examples.

G Of the many online reviews of Difficult Conversations, only two people give it a negative critique. The majority of the reviews are resoundingly positive, with people saying things like, "After years of worrying about the potentially horrific reactions other people might have, I was able to elicit a positive response. The other party didn't become defensive, but, rather, wonderfully receptive to what had been hounding me for years." Many have cited their copy's "tattered" or "dog-eared" condition—"I've underlined virtually every page in the book"—as they have adopted it as a manual for life. The only unfortunate thing is that in many cases it seemed like the authors are preaching to the converted: many of those reading the book are professional mediators, interpersonal trainers, psychologists, or other professionals in the field of mediation and conflict resolution. Too bad, considering the fact that we could all benefit immensely from its methodology.



1

A)positive
B)negative
C)neutral