Learning Objectives

1.

Explain why we need interpersonal relationships. Communication is one variable common to all relationships. As a result of communication, we establish and nurture or withdraw from and end our relationships. Relationships play many roles in our lives. They fulfill our needs for inclusion, control, and affection.

2.

Define and discuss the following terms: inclusion, control, and affection. We need to feel that others take an interest in us, that they view us as capable of exerting control over our lives, and that we are lovable. It is through conversation that we establish, maintain, and end our relationships.

3.

Explain and distinguish between social penetration, cost-benefit theory, and relational dialectics theory. Every relationship we share is unique and varies in breadth (how many topics we discuss with the other person) and depth (how much we are willing to reveal to the other person about our feelings). Most relationships develop according to a social penetration model, beginning with narrow breadth and shallow depth; over time, some relationships increase in breadth and depth, becoming wider, more intimate, or both. Social exchange theory holds that we work to maintain those relationships that yield the greatest personal profits and fewest costs. Relational dialectics explores the oscillation that occurs between conflicting relationship goals.

4.

Discuss and distinguish between 10 stages of relationships. Researchers have also identified a number of stages our relationships may pass through: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding, differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and termination. Note that a relationship may stabilize at any stage. When the participants disagree about the point of stabilization, problems are likely to arise.

5.

Discuss how deception, gender, and technology affect interpersonal communication. Relationships are also affected by gender and cultural preferences, lies or deception, vulnerability and trust, and even technological innovations.

6.

Identify ways to enhance your satisfaction with your relationships. It is important to recognize that how we communicate plays a key part in determining whether our relationships are as effective and rewarding for us as they could be.

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