Learning Objectives

1.

Identify and distinguish between the following relationship life contexts: acquaintanceship; friendship, and romantic, family, and work relationships. Our relationships occur in various life contexts. Among the different kinds of relationships we share are acquaintanceships, friendships, romantic relationships, family relationships, and work relationships. Our emotions have an impact on our inner life and on our relationships, regardless of the context in which they occur. Emotions can enhance or disrupt relationships. They can increase our understanding of other people, or they can prevent us from relating to other people effectively.

2.

Define and distinguish between the following terms: emotional intelligence, emotion state, and emotion trait. We are experiencing some emotion to some degree at any given time. Our emotional intelligence, the ability we have to motivate ourselves, to control our impulses, to recognize and regulate our moods, to empathize, and to hope, determines how effective we are at handling feelings in our relationships. A temporary emotional reaction to a situation is an emotion state; a tendency to experience one particular emotion repeatedly is an emotion trait.

3.

Explain how attraction, proximity, reinforcement, similarity, complementarity, and the suppression and disclosure of feelings can affect the development of relationships. Feelings can be accompanied by a wide range of physical sensations. A number of basic feelings (including surprise, anger, happiness, sadness, and fear) are also reflected by characteristic facial expressions that are similar around the world. We can improve our communication abilities by learning to read the facial expressions of others to discover their feelings and by letting our own expressions convey our emotions to others. It is believed that emotions are contagious-others frequently pick up an emotion displayed by one person during an interaction.
Feelings are at the heart of our important interpersonal relationships. Among the factors that can cause us to establish relationships with some people but not others are attractiveness, proximity, reinforcement, similarity, and complementarity. How we deal with our emotions often influences the course of our relationships. When we censor or fail to disclose our feelings, we are likely to engage in interactions that are shallow or contrived rather than fulfilling and real. Sometimes we are simply obeying unwritten display rules-often based on gender or culture-when we
decide which feelings we will reveal or conceal. Not expressing our feelings honestly can lead to misunderstandings and even to breakdowns in our relationships.

4.

Define assertiveness, nonassertiveness, and aggressiveness, and explain how feelings can be handled effectively during conflicts. Innovations in technology are enabling us to practice the management of our emotions in a variety of online settings. Whether we are interacting online or offline, there are three ways of expressing feelings in emotionally charged or conflict-producing interpersonal situations: nonassertively, aggressively, and assertively.

5.

Identify behaviors that foster and impede the development of a relationship based on assertiveness. When we display assertiveness, we meet our interpersonal needs, make our own decisions, and think and say what we believe without infringing on the rights of others. Only the assertive style enables us to express our beliefs and ideas without harming others or being victimized ourselves.

6.

Draw and explain a relationship window. We can use a relationship
window-a model that analyzes how we interact with strangers, friends, and intimates-to identify the kinds of interactions in which we find it most difficult to be assertive.

7.

Create and explain a DESC script. We can then analyze and learn to handle a typical situation by using a DESC script.

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