Glinda - In discussing the ways in which couples deal with their various conflicting needs, Baxter overlooked one that has come into play (dare I say) constantly in my romances. I will name it inverse response cyclical alteration (Irca). Irca means that each partner switches from one pole to the other, and their position is inversely correlated to the direction that the other is pulling at that moment. This sounds like it would create unbearable tension, but actually has the effect of balancing out both extremes. When I am being predictable, my boyfriend will do something completely unexpected. Then, when I’m acting completely out of character, he will slow me down with his desire for predictability. And when all I want is to be alone, his desire for independence will save us from over-indulgent self-destruction. So I will likely respond with my own surge of independence; but as I pull away, my boyfriend will suddenly seem to take every opportunity for connection. The Irca seems to keep a relationship balanced, ever changing, yet progressing at a slow and steady pace.