Matthew - My family could be a perfect model for this theory. As of a year ago, my father has developed a mental disorder that has truly affected every member of our family, not just him. He is the one with the “problem,” however, the rest of the family perpetuated this problem until we learned to reframe the situation. My mother was truly the “enabler” of the family, always providing the back door out for my dad. My brothers and I often had fiery tempers whenever certain subjects pertaining to his disorder would arise. Our resistance to even broach the topic kept everything nicely swept under the rug. It wasn’t until half of my family sought counseling that we had the nerve to approach my dad and exercise “tough love” by no longer allowing his disorder to rule our lives. As the book said, “I can change myself. Others I can only love.” My response to my father changed when I realized that I could not make him well, I could only place my love for him in a different picture frame. It may not be a pretty picture frame, but it’s functional, and contains my love for him in a way that no other picture frame does.