Children with life-threatening illness are usually able to guess their condition by observing and interpreting the behavior of adults in their environment.
Sick children use a variety of coping mechanisms to deal with anxiety, confusion, and the sometimes painful treatments that accompany life-threatening illness.
Bereaved children's responses to loss are similar to those of adults. A particular child's experience of grief is influenced by such factors as age, stage of mental development, patterns of family interaction and communication, the nature of the relationship with the person (or pet) who has died, and previous experiences with death.
Grief in response to the death of a pet is a normal and authentic experience for adults as well as for children.
Longitudinal studies of children who have experienced a parent's death reveal that children typically construct an inner representation (manifested in memories, feelings, and actions) that is used to maintain a relationship with the dead parent. The nature of this relationship changes as the child grows older and acute grief diminishes.
Books for children and adolescents are a source of information and insight about dying, death, and bereavement; they offer opportunities for sharing between adults and young people.
Honest communication tailored to a child's level of comprehension can promote healthy coping with life-threatening illness and grief.
In discussing death with children, it is important to listen carefully and verify what you believe they are saying. Accept the reality of the child's grief and answer questions honestly and directly, taking care not to use metaphorical explanations that may confuse or mislead the child.
Social support for children includes many of the same kinds of options available to adults who are coping with life-threatening illness or bereavement. In addition to a variety of peer-oriented support groups, there are programs that focus on the needs of specific populations (such as inner-city children bereaved as a result of drive-by shootings and other types of street violence) and programs that seek to "grant the wishes" of children with serious illness.
