Where are you on the following ratings describing your approach to conflict?

I love peace and harmony and will go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
I sometimes will willingly engage in conflict, but only if I can see no other good choice.
I like the give-and-take of a good verbal conflict and am not particularly wary of getting involved.
I enjoy constructive conflict. My adrenaline gets going and I like to see what can come of it. I even seek out conflict at times.
I count on conflict to help clear the air, solve problems, and get us to a “different plane."

Think of an intrapersonal strain you may be feeling right now, or felt for a while in the past. What is the struggle you feel? Have you ever lived through an intrapersonal con- flict that did not ever become expressed? If you answered yes to this question, ask yourself if you might have expressed the conflict ever so slightly in some way.

Look back over the explanation of the “four horsemen.” Answer the following questions, then discuss.

Which of the four communication modes has been used against you in harmful ways?
Which of the four do you use, and in what circumstances?
Choose an example of your own use of one of the four destructive modes explained above. What fear or anger underlay your use of this approach?
Can you think of a way you could communicate more honestly and constructively? Give one example. Practice changing your communication when you are tempted to use one of the four horsemen. If you want, keep track of your attempts for a paper on your communication style.