Directions: Revise the following paragraphs and rewrite them in the space provided. Add details and descriptions from your own imagination to make the paragraphs more effective and interesting to read. Feel free to combine sentences and revise the word choice as needed.
The day was too nice to do nothing at all. Janine and Hilary set out to hear a concert in the park. They made a picnic dinner. They prepared several different kinds of food. Then they packed everything up and left for the park.
Though they had a lot of things to carry and the trip to the park was long, it was worth it. They knew that their favorite musician would be playing. Besides, they arrived with time to spare. They found a good place to sit and waited for the concert.
They were talking and eating when the concert began. The two friends became quiet and listened. They were having so much fun that they could hardly believe the sun was already going down when the concert was over. They would remember this day, the two agreed, and returned home.
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