As a conflict unfolds, topic, relational, identity, and process goals emerge (TRIP). Topic goals are the “objective,” verifiable issues that people talk about. Relationship goals are those pertaining to the parties’ influence on each other. Who gets to decide, how they treat one another, and other aspects of their communication are relationship goals. Identity, or face-saving, goals have to do with the needs of people to present themselves positively in interactions and to be treated with approval and respect. Process goals refer to parties’ interests in how the interaction is conducted. Although most conflict parties center their discus- sions on content and process goals, the relation- ship and identity components often fuel the feeling in a given conflict.

Goals change in the course of a conflict. Prospective goals are those identified before inter- acting with the other parties. Transactive goals emerge during the communication exchanges. Transactive goals often shift; a destructive conflict is characterized by a shift from original goals to a desire to harm the other party. Retrospective goals are identified after the conflict episodes have occurred. Unregulated, unplanned, fast-paced con- flicts keep many people from understanding their goals until they later have time to reflect on the transactions.

Productive conflict management is enhanced by clarifying your goals, better estimating the other’s goals, and working to build collaborative goals. Working against or without consulting the other party often sets destructive forces in motion that preclude integrative management of the conflict.